You'll like what Alan attempted on the ZI Field Trip

I have a ZI story that is somewhat legendary among a small group of my friends. Let me share:

It was the last stop and the last night at Wright Patterson. The previous evening, I had met a beautiful girl at the Tea Dance, all the more excellent in that she had a Chevrolet convertible. We arranged to meet the last night for a date and as I was preparing to head out that late afternoon for our rendezvous, we learned that due to some infraction of the rules everyone was confined to quarters that night. One of the incidents which precipitated this punishment, or perhaps happened because of it, involved Mike Roach and Denny Walker. As the OIC was coming up the steps into our barracks for an inspection, these two gentlemen met him with a naked double-inverted moon. He was not amused, which further muddied the water for my evening plans.


Faced with the prospect of confinement to quarters, I began to formulate an alternative strategy to escape to see my date. These were open bay barracks, with two rows of beds on each side. Hourly bed checks were designed to determine that there was a body in each bed, but did not count the number of beds in the barracks. Thus, if I could make my bed disappear, I could do likewise.


The scheme was afoot. Mac McConnell and Danny Hamilton were willing accomplices. We disassembled the metal framed bed, hid the frame and various parts under nearby beds, and moved all closer together to hide the fact a bed had gone missing.


One final part needed to be stored - the mattress. Danny and I picked the mattress up and headed for the latrine, with plans to store it in one of the stalls. As we stepped down the several steps into the latrine, with Danny in the lead, the rear door flew open and to my horror, there stood none other than USMC Major McGinn! I was a dead duck, but Danny was out of sight - I quietly whispered to him to disappear and then jumped to attention while holding the mattress in the upright position.


Major McGinn came over to inspect. The conversation which ensued is still as fresh in my memory as is the scene of me standing at attention holding a mattress while the good Major inspected us both. Major McGinn - “what do you have here son?” To which I replied “Sir, I have a mattress.” He asked “where are you going with the mattress?” I replied “Sir, I was planning on putting it in the latrine.” He asked “are you planning on going somewhere this evening?” I replied “Sir, yes sir.” At this point, the
good Major ordered me to put my bed back together and get my body into it!


As we reassembled my bed, my thoughts were on the lost evening with my beautiful blonde date, and the CDB that I was surely going to receive for this act of civil disobedience. Danny, Mac, and I lay in our beds and began to giggle thinking of the ludicrous nature of my situation - as one would quiet down, someone else would begin to laugh and we giggled our way to sleep over the next several hours.


I never saw the girl again, I never received a write-up or CDB, never heard a word of punishment about this entire incident. In point of fact, with years of reflection, I know Major McGinn walked outside and burst into laughter thinking about how funny and clever this entire scheme was. He, to his great credit and my undying gratitude, chose to not file a report and chalk this up to boys being boys. Even after all these years, this is one of my fondest and most interesting memories of being a member of the Class of ’68, still great!


Alan Price

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